By Matthew McKibben | March 10, 2015
This trailer for Brad Peyton’s San Andreas reminds me of how boxers face each other at their pre-fight weigh-ins… just two massive, shirtless brutes standing face to face, nose to nose, with just millimeters of not-gay-at-all space between the two of them. In a battle of Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson versus a massive California earthquake, I’m putting my money on the Rock. Have you seen those biceps? He may be straining to emote concern but worry not; the Rock has this handled. All those pretty people will be saved, gosh darnit. The Rock is so unconcerned with the massive earthquake that he’s decided to go boating in the Pacific Ocean. Where’s he going? Who the eff knows? Maybe he wants to check out Alcatraz Island before it sinks into the ocean. You’ll have to pay your hard earned money to find out.
I often like to pretend that movies are secret prequels and sequels of already existing movies. For example, since it often seems unlikely Marvel will ever do a standalone Hawkeye origin story, I like to pretend that Jeremy Renner’s The Bourne Legacy is a Hawkeye origin story. In that mold, perhaps San Andreas is best viewed as a spin off of Richard Donner’s 1978 Superman, where a dastardly Lex Luthor sets off an atom bomb on the San Andreas fault line to set off a super massive earthquake. Perhaps Ned Beatty’s Otis is getting his island after all.
I kind of dig the look of this movie, though. Seeing Dwayne Johnson in his rescue-chopper-pilot costume is kind of adorable and reminiscent of CHiPs, T.J. Hooker and other 80’s shows I grew up with. I hope this is the start of a new franchise for him and the next movie sees him rescuing kittens out of trees or saving campers from a forest fire.
San Andreas, directed by Brad Peyton (Cats & Dogs 2: The Revenge of Kitty Galore and Journey 2: The Mysterious Island), opens on May 29, 2015, with a screenplay by Carlton Cuse (LOST), and stars Dwayne Johnson, Carla Gugino, Alexandra Daddario, Ioan Gruffudd, and Paul Giamatti.